The Bod Squad
TinkerHell is the 2-time defending BAWD champion who has just flown in from NeverLand-- sorry, I meant THE DEPTHS OF HELL --- and no, her arms aren't tired. This rough, tough, ethereal, and buff Dame is the ne-fairy-ous manic pixie nightmare girl who haunts the sleep of every Dame who has ever come to the table to challenge her. Don't be fooled by her gossamer wings: it's her biceps you need to watch out for. Accompanied by good boi gone BAWD, Peter Pain, and the original bad boy of Boston Theatre, Captain Left Hook, she is NOT to be trifled with. This Scary Fairy smashes tables and the patriarchy with her super strength and she came here with one mission: to send every Dame off to Never(GonnaWin)Land. Put your hands together and clap if you believe in fairies! It's your never-defeated champion: TinkerHell!
A song of dice and fire! From the random to fandom, here she is, the queen of the new world disorder, a true game changer, the shot caller for squeezed fingers and broken dreams of arm wrasslin’ glory! Somewhere beyond good and evil there’s Chaotic Neutral!
She's never afraid to drop the gavel (or some knowledge) on the lawbreaking hoi polloi. Catch the supreme of the crop rocking the sickest collars, writing the fiercest decisions, and laying down the strong arm of the law on wrestlers who run afoul of her judgements. You can't spell "truth" without her, the mother of dissension, Her Honour Ruthless Badhair Sinsburg!
From under the sea and across the pond in JP, she left her trove of sparkling treasures just for your fight night pleasure! Can you handle this medusazoa who is in the know-a? I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, it’s your host, Royal Jelly!
The little known sister of the Ringling Brothers, she flew through the air with the greatest of ease, this BAWDy young lass on the flying trapeze. Her brothers were jealous, they gave her the freeze - her birthright they purloined away! Now she’s brought her killer biceps to a new ring and is ready to soar past the competition: Rosie Ringling!
When asked her strategy for this evening she said "I will win the crowd. I will give them something they have never seen before. A gladiatrix covered in glitter!"
Forged on the grounds of the Coliseum... bar and grill, this sword wielding dame is finally listening to the roar of the crowd...of one or two friends.
"Cocoa! Cocoa! Cocoa!" They call for her. The general regular woman who became a corporate drone. The corporate drone who became a gladiatrix. The gladiatrix who defied logic, since the Roman empire is no more. Now the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous victory will do! And what could be more glorious than challenging the most Bawdy dames this city has to offer! Tonight a hero will rise and she will have her victory in this competition... or the next - Cocoa Carnage!
Forged on the grounds of the Coliseum... bar and grill, this sword wielding dame is finally listening to the roar of the crowd...of one or two friends.
"Cocoa! Cocoa! Cocoa!" They call for her. The general regular woman who became a corporate drone. The corporate drone who became a gladiatrix. The gladiatrix who defied logic, since the Roman empire is no more. Now the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous victory will do! And what could be more glorious than challenging the most Bawdy dames this city has to offer! Tonight a hero will rise and she will have her victory in this competition... or the next - Cocoa Carnage!
She kissed a (punk rock) girl and she liked it! She also; got her braces off, learned to ride a motorcycle, refilled her contact prescription, AND borrowed a corset from TinkerHell. Chopping her way into your heart, it's LumberJackie Kennedy!
A royal rebel! Her Royal Highness, Lady Jawbreaker grew restless in the sweet world of Candy Land. As a young girl she challenged other Candilanders and people of the Chocolate Court to “twisting wrists”! Her mother, the Duchess of Taffy saw her potential and the rest is herstory! Lady Jawbreaker always comes through with a crunch!
“A royal pain.”
“A royal pain.”
Miss Inglink (if you dig me) hails from Rocky Bottom, just beyond the Paleo. She is the only known specimen of Australokickyourass, a bone-a-fide lass from the evolutionary past, here to put the Homo in your Erectus as Club Champion.
“She’ll drag YOUR knuckles.”
“She’ll drag YOUR knuckles.”
She was horticulturist with a penchant for small plane flying. After her fiancé rigged her parachute to malfunction, she landed in a radioactive facility and was tended to by the mysterious arm wrestling Dr. Nadia Friend. She trudged home to mentally heal after such a catastrophic breakup and tend to her honey farm.
After just a few stings, it became clear what Dr. Friend was really doing - the radioactivity took hold, mixed with the bee venom and ZomBee was born!
She joined a colony, and swiftly rose through the ranks, becoming their queen. However, members of her colony started to die, and it quickly became a barren wasteland where they had to scrounge for pollen and sell their pheromones in order to just scrape by. She knows who’s to blame: humans. And she’s here to leave her stinger in humanity’s arm, one match at a time.
After just a few stings, it became clear what Dr. Friend was really doing - the radioactivity took hold, mixed with the bee venom and ZomBee was born!
She joined a colony, and swiftly rose through the ranks, becoming their queen. However, members of her colony started to die, and it quickly became a barren wasteland where they had to scrounge for pollen and sell their pheromones in order to just scrape by. She knows who’s to blame: humans. And she’s here to leave her stinger in humanity’s arm, one match at a time.
When she’s not busy counting in the rest of the Miz Fits, Punky Brewzer can be found bumming smokes, stealing your booze, and on the lookout for someone to knockout. Equal parts lover and fighter, Punky’s a rockin babe that will make you her slave.
Trader Josephine traveled all the way here from the frozen banks of the Yukon River show the East how the West was won! When her softer second half went off to open a grocery store, she struck out for a life of trappin' beaver. With a grip like a bear trap, and muscles hard as river rocks, she's sure to make a dent in these dainty city dames!
Once the head of BAWD sports medicine, this demented doctor fell from grace when her prescribed “supplements” caused severe cases of passive aggressiveness in the Dames, resulting in a catastrophic championship comprised entirely of nasty notes. Exiled to her offshore lab she has worked as a recluse and some say driven mad by self experimentations. Now that she has returned to BAWD who knows what monstrosities this crazed competitor will unleash on the competition. Is she a scientific saint or a diabolical dame driven by championship domination? Has this creature creator conjured up a wrestling mega weapon or is this arm bending Attending back for relationship mending?
It’s the mad monster maker herself, Dr. Nadia Friend!
There only three things certain in life: Death, Taxes and Fatal Subtraction depreciating the competition. When this CP-pAin gets in the ring there's no accounting for what gets cooked up. When she's not crunching numbers, she's crushing arms because the one thing you can't write off this tax season is: FATAL SUBTRACTION.
“the CPA (Crushing Palms and Arms)”
“the CPA (Crushing Palms and Arms)”
When Slam Grier is near, you best not sneer or she'll kick your rear! She's a chick with drive who don't take no jive!
Don’t be fooled by her diminutive stature, this woman on fire is a MASSIVE ATTACKER! Abuela Candela gives healing vivaporu with her strong arms and chancletasos to those who wish her harm!
“¡Ay! tu y ese feib”
“¡Ay! tu y ese feib”
She’s the Bruiser of Bryn Bawr, the Slugger of Smith! In this corner, weighing in with the full force of her entitlement.....it’s the DEAN’S WIFE!!! She works harder than a Tenured White Male Professor and lasts longer than a faculty meeting! With arms grown powerful battling obscurity, wrestling committees to the ground, and slamming doors in adjuncts' faces, she'll strong-arm any opponent into submission!
The first record of Aba Could Nab Ya’s existence appears in the December, 1965 issue of the now-defunct Soviet sports magazine, Armazing, in which they gave their only known interview.
In that issue’s “Arm Wrestling Talk of the Town” section, they are quoted as saying: “If I see an arm, I must wrestle it in a deep and serious way… I have to destroy [arms] wherever I see them. No arms can go unbeaten. ” When asked if this affected other aspects of their life, they responded: “It makes it difficult for me to go out, socially.”
According to local legend, as a baby, Aba Could Nab Ya was given to the owners of Kiev’s most notorious arm-wrestling club: Два кулака, одна слава (translated loosely as “Two Fists, One Glory”) to settle their parent’s gambling debts. Little is known after that, but accounts from frequenters of the club report that “At their best, they was able to beat three (or more) people simultaneously: two with their arms, the rest with just their mind.” It’s even said that in 1983 they beat Garry Kasparov simultaneously at chess and arm-wrestling.
After a brief stint at the KGB as a weaponized arm wrestler, Aba Could Nab Ya now operates a non profit called “Use Your Arms, Not Your Words” which promotes arm wrestling as a life skill for settling disputes to school children in the Boston area.
“From Russia with biceps...”